The List

After the encouragement and kind words I received after my last post on #wifematerial; you can read that here, I decided to do a second post on what a godly woman should look for in a husband. This post is for the ladies; however, if you are a guy trying to be the Prince Charming for someone who is already the princess, you can read this post too. 🙂

Please keep in mind that, while this list contains extremely high standards, I pray that I can match my future husband’s high standards as well. I understand that I cannot expect Prince Charming, if I cannot be a princess worth saving. I need to be a godly woman, in order to expect a godly man.

So here goes.

The majority of girls have “the list.” It can be an informal list in your head, or it can be a real list written down on paper. This is the list that will help define the rest of your life.

This is the list of requirements for your future husband. 

Every girl has some small inkling of an idea of what they want in a husband. Whether it be height, personality, hair color, or religion, most have a list in their heads of things they want in a future hubby.

Godly women should be set apart in what they desire. Your list should not be comprised of just external things, or very close to just external things, but it should be made of what you believe a godly man should be on the inside.

“Godly men are an absolute endangered species.” – Mark Driscoll

So here is a list of things that, not only should you desire, but you should expect.

He has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This seems obvious to most of you, but I have seen people “settle” because they feel that he is perfect in every other area. Let me tell you something. If there is no personal relationship with Jesus Christ, he will fail in every other area. No questions about it.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, Matthew 6:33, Hebrews 6:10, Proverbs 8:18-20, Psalm 16:11, 1 Peter 2:21-23

He has integrity. He should want to honor you in his thoughts. He should stand up for your purity as a brother in Christ. A godly man should be honorable of your heart and emotional well-being. He ought to model his relationship with you after the relationship Christ has with the church.

Scripture: Proverbs 5:17, 1 Peter 4:8, Proverbs 5:23

He strives to be faithful and pure.  He should avoid putting himself in tempting situations.  A godly man should defend what is important to God; that includes his own eyes and heart. His time should be focused on his relationship with Christ. He should flee from sin and temptation and instead run to purity of heart and mind. He should remain faithful to you and have eyes only for you.

Scripture: Proverbs 5:18-20, Matthew 5:8, Psalm 119:9, Hebrews 13:4, Ephesians 5:5, Romans 13:14

He should be a gentleman. This goes hand in hand with integrity and purity. A gentleman honors his mom and sisters, opens doors, pulls out the chair, walks on the outer part of the sidewalk, protects you, and provides for you. He should go the extra mile and be chivalrous. He should be someone who you are proud to bring to social and family gatherings.

Scripture: Deuteronomy 18:18, Proverbs 29:23, Matthew 7:16-20

He is a solid leader. This means financially, emotionally, and spiritually providing for you and your future family. He should be a good worker and be responsible. He ought to be the man that people turn to in times of trouble because they trust his judgement. He should be the man who is known for being ambitious to do right, speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves, and for standing strong through times of turmoil.

Scripture: 2 Samuel 10:7; Ezekiel 22:23-31, Psalm 101, Proverbs 14:23, Jeremiah 5:1, John 10:11-13, Proverbs 6:10-11

He is a servant. While being a good leader is important, it is equally important to be a good servant. He should serve you and your future family. He should be loving, kind, gentle, giving, selfless and sacrificial. He should be an example to his sons on how they should treat their own families someday. He should show the compassion of Jesus Christ in everything he does.

Scripture: Galatians 5:13, Mark 10:45, Matthew 5:21, Proverbs 11:25

He is humble. Your man should be willing to admit when he is wrong. He should seek out other godly men to keep him accountable in his walk with Christ. He should seek counsel in times of trouble. He should not be ashamed to ask for help when needed. The only pride he should have is pride for his family and his faith.

Scripture: Proverbs 16:18, Psalm 141:5, 1 Peter 5:5-7, Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 66:2

“Whenever God means to make a man great, He always breaks him in pieces first.” – Charles Spurgeon

He is calm. He should be slow to anger, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Any anger he has, should be only righteous anger. He should be quick to put his emotions in order and careful in expressing them. Yes, he should share how he feels, but it should be done carefully and in consideration of the others around him.

Scripture: Galatians 5, Proverbs 3:6, Philippians 4;13, 1 Corinthians 10:13

He should value honesty. Communication is key in any relationship. He must be willing to be transparent about his emotions and what he is going through. Honesty with you should be one of his biggest concerns. He should listen to your feelings and emotions in return, and be willing to discuss your lives freely and openly.

Scripture: Proverbs 12:22, Proverbs 19:1, John 8:32, 2 Corinthians 8:21

He should pursue and romance you. Making you happy and loving you should be the thing that makes him happiest in life. He should take initiative by planning romantic dates, leaving love notes, and sending flowers “just because,” just so he can see your smile; making you smile should make him smile. Love for you should motivate him to do everything he can to the best of his ability.

Scripture: Song of Solomon 1:2 & 8:6, Genesis 29:20, Ephesians 5:25, Proverbs 5:18-19, Genesis 2:24, 1 Peter 3:7

He is courageous. He defends the weak and stands up for what he believes in. He should speak justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. There should be no shame in what he believes. He ought to be willing to live the life of Paul and die as Christ did. He should stand firm through anyone who challenges his faith.

Scripture: Joshua 1:9, Deuteronomy 31:6, 2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Corinthians 16:13, Proverbs 28:1

“A good man is not necessarily a godly man, but a godly man is invariably a good man.”

Nobody is perfect. Women should never expect a perfect man and men should never expect a perfect woman. The goal is to be like Jesus. So while the list above is extremely demanding, please know that no man will ever meet each thing perfectly, but if you marry the right man he will strive to be a man after God’s own heart. And do not expect this man will marry you if you are not keeping up your end of the relationship. To read about what you need to be click here.

I pray that this helps you in some way.

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