“A godly woman will be faithful to her husband, even though she doesn’t have one yet.”
As a little girl I fantasized about getting married someday. It had nothing to do with the guy I married and everything to do with the dress, flowers, venue, etc.
What I saw at that young age was the beauty of a wedding, the joy of the day, and the people who celebrated with you. But I never thought about the following days, weeks, months, and years. I saw the excitement of being a bride and never gave a second thought to the concept of being a wife.
I have slowly come to the realization that before I ever even think about being a bride, I need to learn what it means to be a godly wife. Therefore, this post is not written about experience as a wife, but what the Bible expects out of you.
So that is what this post is going to be about. Being godly #wifematerial.
Today’s culture tells women that being a wife is only skin deep and that it is mainly comprised of cooking, cleaning, and bearing children.
But after looking around at all the godly couples around me, I see that there is sooo much more to being a wife than that. At least there is more to being the kind of wife I want to be.
“To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous, and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly, and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity…the more womanly we are, the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.” – Elisabeth Elliot
The first thing that I really learned about marriage is that men desire respect and women crave love. It’s how God designed us. I believe that God intentionally made it that each gender has to give what is harder for them. I usually find that women have a hard time respecting men. It is a major issue for a lot of women and one of the biggest reasons why marriages fail. Which leads me into a closely related topic. Submission.
“I’d rather be viewed as weak to the world because I’m submissive to my husband…than be weak in the Lord because I submit to the views of the world.” – Candace Cameron Bure
Submission does not mean being a doormat or not having an opinion. It means being the person willing to lay down your own wants for the other person in love. It means being selfless. “Men are the head of the household. As you love and honor him, he will make decisions with you.”
I can hear all the feminists out there murmuring under their breath about equality of the genders and such. To be honest, I think most of that equality stuff is a load of crap, but we’ll save that for another post. For now I want to focus on one thing…God called us to do what we find most difficult. He called us to let go of what we want and instead to do what He has called us to do. It is a matter of give and take. And if you learn to give, the take will seem so much sweeter.
So now if you’re like me you might be thinking, “what if he makes stupid decisions?”
Pray for him. All the time. About each and every little aspect of his life. My goal with this post was to target the young ladies who aren’t married yet and may be nowhere near there. Pray for him even though you don’t know who he is yet. Pray for his family, his health, his work, his school, his relationship with Christ, and the temptations that he will face before he reaches you. Pray for him. I pray for my future husband on a regular basis. I have no idea who he is and what he is going through right now, but I do know that my God has His hand on him and is weaving an incredible love story.
“Marriage is not just a continual choice to love, but a continual choice to forgive.”
Forgive him. You are both imperfect people living in an imperfect world. There are going to be tears, rough days, and challenging times when he is going to fail. Forgive him. You will be on your period and he will do that one little thing that annoys the heck out of you and he knows it. Forgive him. He will make that one bad joke in front of your entire family. Forgive him. Why? Because you’re going to need the same exact thing in return. Forgive him seventy times seven.
So now you might be thinking, “what do I do to attract the right guy?”
Be honest. You need to be real. You are unique and set apart by who you are in Christ. Flaunt that. Don’t pretend to be a different person in order to attract the kind of guy you want. Be you and God will bring you the perfect guy. The guy who falls head over heels in love with you. The guys who makes you feel all warm inside every time he looks at you or says your name. God will bring your Prince Charming, you just have to be you.
Be confident. You were handcrafted by the creator of the heavens and the earth. He designed you to be beautiful. Be comfortable with who you are. Men will be attracted to a woman who is confident in who she is. Know that your value is rooted in nothing else but who you are in Christ.
Be passionate. God created you with a purpose. Embrace it. “Have goals, believe in your dreams, and hold onto your values. Be propelled by justice, mercy, forgiveness, charity, and grace.” I hate the phrase “dating myself.” No. Just no. You should not be getting to know yourself, you should be getting to know God and the incredible plans he has for you. Understand what God has planned for you and be passionate about it. The right guy will meet you there.
Be a servant. Learn to serve others. This should be part of who you are, don’t do it in the hopes that a nice Christian guy will see you and be impressed. Do it because God laid it on your heart. Find an area to serve that you care about and put time and energy into helping others. It will bless you and them.
Be a hard worker. Whatever you do, do it the the glory of God. Show yourself as someone who is willing to do what it takes. Be on the lookout for how you can help and be of assistance. Guys will take notice of a girl who works hard. It shows character. Just make sure your working hard for the right reasons.
Be modest. Sure you might attract male attention by showing some cleavage or wearing those extra tight leggings, but if you’re going to do that, realize that the attention you might get isn’t from the guy that’s going to stick around. Most of the Christian guys I meet, that have the right intentions, appreciate it when you dress modestly. I mean, who wants a present that has already been opened and there are pictures of it posted all over social media. Am I right?
Be humble. No one, let alone a future hubby, is going to want a bragger. Anything good that you do, is only because of the glory of God. Realize that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the one who is using you. Humble yourself and amazing things can happen.
Be a Proverbs 31 woman. We all knew this had to be said. Every woman’s goal, married or unmarried, should be to live out a life like the Proverbs 31 woman. Be wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove.
“A virtuous woman is hard to find. Live to be the exception.” – Time-Warp Wife
Note: This was written for all the single ladies out there. This post’s goal was to promote the characteristics of a godly wife before you are even a wife. Please comment if you have anything else to add. Also, below I will provide a list of scripture to start you off if you want to make this a personal study of your own.
Proverbs 31; 21:9; 19:13,14; 12:4; 27:15; 9:13; 7:10, 18-29
1 Timothy 2:9; 3:7
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
2 Timothy 2:24
1 Peter 1:3-7
After receiving so much love and support from this article, I wrote a follow up post on what to look for in a godly husband. You can read it by clicking here.
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