Joshua Duggar

Joshua Duggar.

Many of you may know that I love 19 Kids and Counting, so the allegations shocked me, but what shocked me more was the response.

Josh Duggar admitted to molesting five girls as a teenager.

I was so surprised to hear of something so terrible done by someone in a family who I admire because of how they speak up for their faith.

Especially Josh.

I honestly felt like what he did just gave Liberals that flaming arrow that they have been dying to shoot at us for years.

A Conservative, Christian, homeschooler just admitted to the entire world that he did something wrong.

But then I thought of a few things that made me come to the realization that I have no justification for being mad at him.

1. I don’t know him.

We may feel that we know him because we have watched him grow up on television. You think you know his life and you see his amazing parents and feel like you can tell him how horrible of a person he really is. He managed to have a major mistake even with such an awesome family. But in reality, a lot of us Christian’s have great parents and then proceed to sin over and over and over. So how is he different? Because he is in the national spotlight? That’s a lot of pressure to have had as a 14 year old.

2. He made the problem right.

Yes, what he did was wrong. Terribly wrong. But he made it right. In his statement he said that his parents went to the authorities, he admitted what he had done wrong, he apologized for his actions to the people he hurt, he and the girls he hurt all received counseling, and he repented. People will still have memories and that hurt might never fully go away. That’s what happens when sin enters our lives, it ruins us and the people around us. Josh hurt a lot of people. He disappointed a lot of people. But after he realized what he had really done, he did all he could to make it right.

3. He is redeemed by the blood.Β 

I believe in accountability. I believe that if the allegations had come out and he admitted to it, but said that he was not wrong in what he did, it would have been completely acceptable for Christians to call him to accountability. But here’s the thing. He has repented and God has forgiven him. That is the most important thing. God has forgotten his sin. Jesus paid the price for people like Josh Duggar. People who have “sinned the worst sins.” And it is not my job to decide whether or not Josh is forgiven.

4. I have sinned.

We have all fallen short of the glory of God. God even said in His word that if you have stumbled over one law, you are guilty ofΒ all.Β So even if your “worst sin” was one lie to your parents about eating your broccoli when you were 5, you are guilty of molesting 5 girls too. God does not see “levels of sin.” He sees disobedience and rebellion. “And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, β€œLet him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her,” John 8:7.

So, yes, I will continue to watch 19 Kids and Counting. Josh is forgiven, which means that I need to forget.

And, in the nicest way possible, you all need to get over yourselves.

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Dear Future Husband

“Dear future husband,
Here’s a few things
You’ll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life.”

I’ll be honest; I have a pretty long list of requirements. (I’m only going to share a few.)

The most important being having a relationship with Jesus.

The second being loving me. πŸ™‚

And the third is having a love for special needs kids.

*Yes, I know I will be lucky to just find these three things let alone the rest of my list. But God.

I feel a need to share my reasoning behind number three. And I have three reasons.

1. Faith – my sister

My sister has special needs. Someday when the Lord calls my parents home to be with Him, Faith will need someone to live with. I refuse to put her in a “home” so she will be living with me or one of my other three siblings. I do not know which one of us will be in a place to take her, but with me being the oldest, it very likely could be me.

Faith can be a lot of work. Hopefully by the time my parents pass on she will be able to walk, talk, and eat by mouth but that is not what she is capable of right now. So yes, future husband, when you sign that marriage certificate, you are signing up to assist in caring for Faith. She is seriously one of the sweetest people you will ever meet though, so even if she has an accident all over our brand new couch, she will smile and giggle as her form of apology.

p.s. She will have to come over for sleepovers too!

2. Me – family history

My mom and both of her sisters each have a child with some form of “handicap.” So odds are I may have a child with special needs myself someday. It is just a reality that has to be faced. I love special needs kids so having one of my own would be a joy.

I do not wish disabilities upon any on my future kids but if we were given aΒ special needs child it would not be the end of the world. So, future husband, I warn you of two more things. First, I want a Duggar sized family. Second, the odds of me having a child with special needs are probably very large; especially considering the amount of children I want.

3. Adoption – yup

I would love to adopt a special needs child…or two…or three. These children need love. There are circumstances where the parents cannot or will not take care of the child and it is in situations like those that I would love to adopt. Just wait, it gets crazier. I want to adopt the ones who cannot walk, talk, or eat by mouth. I know, I’m insane. But those children are the hardest to find parents for and considering I have some personal experience, it would not be too bad.

Future husband, get ready because I want a Duggar sized family, I want to homeschool, I want special needs children, and if that has not scared you enough yet, I love the pro-life movement and am determined to stay involved no matter what. So, yes, we will be “that homeschool family.”

*Watching every man on the planet run away from me*

I do have faith that God will send the right one in His perfect timing. I just pray that God gives him strength…and possibly an extremely well paying job. (That’s a lot of mouths to feed!!!)

So, future husband, there are just a few of the things that you need to know if you want to be my one and only.

“All I want is a Healthy Baby”

“So are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

“It doesn’t matter as long as the baby is healthy.”

This is the conversation that I listened to as I stood next to my special needs sister.

I bet you have heard this line before; or possibly even said it yourself.

Most people do not seem to think through this statement, so I am going to bring up a few things that you may have not thought about.

My biggest question for those who say this is, “What if the baby isn’t healthy?”

My sister was born with Trisomy 18.

“Edwards syndrome (also known as trisomy 18 [T18]) is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all, or part of, an extra 18th chromosome. This genetic condition almost always results from nondisjunction during meiosis. It is named after John Hilton Edwards, who first described the syndrome in 1960. It is the second-most common autosomal trisomy, after Down syndrome, that carries to term.

Half of the infants with this condition do not survive beyond the first week of life. The median lifespan is five to 15 days. About 8% of infants survive longer than 1 year. One percent of children live to age 10, typically in less severe cases of the mosaic Edwards syndrome.”

I apologize for the lengthy description, but I thought that it was important to show how serious my sister’s “disability” is, so you don’t think that I am so random person commenting on this topic with little to no personal experience.

And my sister clearly is not what most people consider a “healthy baby.”

I want to explain what I believe is the mindset behind the statement, “…as long as the baby is healthy.”

Please keep in mind that this seems to be a society mindset; not necessarily the mindset of every individual.

90% of babies who have Trisomy 18 are aborted. 90 percent!!!

Our culture tells us that children who are different and require more help are not worthy of life. In a culture where “normal” people are constantly told to be “unique” and “be yourself” we do not want to accept those who their “normal” is extremely unique.

In my sister’s case, unique meaning 1 in every 5,000 live-births.

Society has told us that if there is a problem just “get rid of it.” That there is no need to “fix” something if you can get a new one with minimum trouble.

“Abortion is an ‘easy’ answer to solving the issue of a special needs child.”

“You do not want to make yourself or the child suffer.”

“You can get pregnant again and it will be a healthy child.”

I have said it before but I will say it again. I have more compassion, love, understanding, and hope because of my sister than I would ever have without her. She lights up my life and even when life is rough and it feels like we are going to hit rock bottom, that little face will look up at you with the biggest smile and so much admiration in her eyes, for you, that you know that all will be well in the end.

It breaks my heart every time someone says, “…as long as the baby is healthy,” mainly because my sister is not.

It hurts so much to hear someone say that, especially when they know that my sister is disabled.

They know that I have a sister, who I love very much by the way, that has special needs, and yet, they say to my face that they do not want a child like her. They basically say that they will take anything but a child like her.

I used to get extremely upset over this and it will still hurt sometimes but I have come to the point where my mindset is, “If they do not get to experience the wonderful love of kids like my sister, they are the ones missing out.”

Please keep in mind that I did not put any of this to condemn anyone but to show them how simple phrases that are used all the time can be hurtful and that there is a stigma that people have against special needs children. Our culture needs to uproot this thought process. It is time to stop being hypocritical about ‘acceptance’ and instead realize that every life matters and has value.